Counsellor Adofoli replies Wode Maya on marriage comment

Marriage counsellor Frank Edem Adofoli has spoken out on social media to defend the importance of professional counselling, following comments by popular YouTuber Wode Maya that appeared to downplay its value.

This comes after, Wode Maya in an interview with Bola Ray urged young couples to focus less on formal marriage counselling and more on truly getting to know one another.

According to him, real understanding is built through time, shared experiences and learning from mistakes together.

“To young couples, don’t go for marriage counselling. Spend time with your partner, make mistakes and discover what works best for you” he indicated.

Replying to Wode Maya, Adofoli said he was concerned by suggestions that couples should simply learn through experience without guidance.

“I understand that you may not fully appreciate what counselling is, especially marriage counselling. But suggesting that couples should just spend time together and figure things out sounds like dismissing professional support.”

He compared entering marriage without preparation to driving without training.

“It is like asking someone to start a car and drive without proper knowledge,” he said. “When they crash, they must live with the damage without seeking help.”

According to Adofoli, marriage counselling gives couples practical tools to manage conflict and build healthy relationships.

He pointed to research showing that couples who go through structured pre-marriage counselling are less likely to divorce.

“Marriage counselling provides wisdom and skills for a strong foundation. Post-marriage counselling also helps couples deal with challenges and restore happiness. Many people suffer in marriage because of such advice. Counsellors are trained professionals, just like doctors and teachers.”

Read Full Post Below:

Dear Wodemaya,

I understand that you may not fully appreciate what counselling is, especially marriage counselling. However, suggesting that couples should simply spend time together, make mistakes, and discover what works best without guidance sounds like you are dismissing the value of professional support.

It is like asking someone to start a car and drive without proper training or knowledge. When they crash, they must live with the damage without seeking help. In the same way, encouraging people to enter marriage without the right knowledge, understanding, and tools is risky. When challenges arise, they are left to struggle alone.

Marriage counselling provides couples with the wisdom and skills they need to build a strong foundation. Research shows that couples who go through well-structured pre-marriage counselling are less likely to divorce and more likely to enjoy a fulfilling marital life. Post-marriage counselling also offers ongoing support, helping couples navigate difficulties and restore happiness.

Many people suffer in marriage because of advice that undermines counselling. While you can speak about your personal marriage experience, it is important to recognise that counsellors are trained professionals. Just as people trust doctors or teachers, couples who seek counselling benefit from expert guidance and care.

During COVID-19, restrictions forced couples to spend more time together at home. Many, especially young couples, lacked the knowledge and understanding to manage conflicts. As a result, domestic violence increased worldwide. Many relationships broke down not because love was absent, but because couples lacked the right tools and refused to seek counselling support.

Marriage is a lifelong covenant. Counselling equips couples to honour that covenant with wisdom, patience, and understanding.

In conclusiom, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counsellors there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14

Yours sincerely,

Frank Edem Adofoli

Counsellor and ADR Practitioner

CEO, The Marriage Consult LTD.

233201435300. +233201435300.