Stories about couples infidelity told by a famous film director, a bestselling author, or a neighbor are infinite. What makes a person behave this way? Who’s to blame? We often ask these questions when we hear about another betrayal.
We gathered psychologists’ points of view and the results of scientific experiments that talk about the circumstances that increase the risk of infidelity. Read the article and you might have fewer questions about this topic.
1. Absence of emotional intimacy
The inability to have heart-to-heart conversations with a partner and the lack of support push both women and men to cheat. There’s a stereotype that the main motive for a man is sex. But in his book The Truth about Cheating, marriage counselor Gary Neuman says that 47% of his male clients who cheated talked about the absence of emotional intimacy.
The situation gets more difficult because men don’t like to show their feelings and women can miss the fact that her beloved needs support. She might notice it way later or even ignore it.
2. Influence of experience and society
If a person has already had experience with infidelity during their previous relationship, there is a huge probability that they will act the same with a new partner. It’s interesting that people around also influence one’s tendency toward infidelity. In one anonymous poll, more than 75% of men who committed adultery indicated that their friends also cheat on their wives.
3. Boring intimate relationship
The lack of bright new emotions in one’s sex life is the reason why 70% of men and 49% of women decide to cheat. It should be noted that the people who answered above also said that their relationships were happy in general: without any big scandals and other disappointing issues.
4. Vulnerability because of the quarter-life crisis
Everyone has a moment in life when we start summing up the overall results of the past years. Some people conclude that everything is just fine and others start experiencing the so-called quarter-life crisis and might become vulnerable to temptation. The research shows that it usually happens at the age of 29, 39, or 49 — just before the new decade.
Of course it doesn’t mean that a good family man and a loving husband suddenly cheats as soon as he turns 39. One’s age is just an accompanying factor that can worsen other circumstances that make people cheat.
5. Excessive interest in social networks
In couples where one of the partners devotes too much time to Twitter or other social networks, the risk of infidelity rises. Because social network addicts can easily wake up earlier or go to bed later leaving their beloved all alone just to scroll their feeds.
Virtual relationships can cause arguments and virtual communication can become real. Both factors create a favorable environment for adultery.
6. Work and business trips
According to one of the polls on this topic, more than 1/3 of cheating men are serious businessmen who used to cheat on their beloved women during business trips. And 13% of women have had an affair at work. The possibility of cheating at work rises during years 6-9 of marriage: these years are the most fragile and generally demand a lot of effort.
7. Lack of oxytocin
Oxytocin, also called the hug hormone (it rises when we hug and kiss), plays an important role in creating and keeping the trust in a relationship. Scientists think that the lack of this hormone can become a trigger when it comes to cheating.
In one experiment, several married men were injected with oxytocin, got acquainted with an attractive woman, and told they could get as close to her as they wanted. Participators that got a hormone dose insisted on a bigger distance between them and the woman than those who got a placebo.
8. I just can’t choose another way
There are people that can’t just imagine their life without the adrenaline buzz that accompanies cheating. Regardless of age, experience, and other criteria, these people cheat and justify themselves saying that they can’t behave in any other way.
Real reasons for this behavior vary and they can be hidden deep inside emotionally. The truth is, it’s very difficult, and almost impossible, for some people to be monogamous.
Specialists indicate that generally it’s the set of listed factors that becomes the reason for cheating, not just one of them. Besides, some couples don’t break up after that and try to save their marriage. And some marriages become even stronger.
What do you think? Is there any possible reason to forgive infidelity?