Sometimes it’s so hard to tell.
If you’re wondering how to tell if a guy likes you, I can say for certain that you are not alone, because I have been there myself.
A few years back, I became close friends with a man I truly thought was just a friend. I was getting out of a bad relationship, and hanging out with him was a fun way to distract myself from my broken heart.
Then, about three months into our friendship, I realized I was crushing on him.
I kept asking myself, “Does he like me?” I was so worried he didn’t want to be anything more than friends with me, but I decided to tell him about my feelings for him nonetheless.
Luckily for me, he was crushing right back.
He was also surprised that I missed what he thought were pretty undeniable signs he was interested and didn’t know how he felt. In his mind, he’d been making it obvious.
In retrospect, I realized that if I had been paying closer attention it would have been very clear to me that he wanted to be more than friends.
if you’re not sure if the guy you’re crushing on wants to be more than friends, here are five signs to look for, based on what my guy did.
1. He stays constantly in touch
We all have friends who we text and talk to all the time. And it’s wonderful. But, if you really think about it, most of those friends are usually girls.
Guys certainly like to text and talk on the phone, but it’s not usually their default.
If you have a guy who texts you good morning, who texts you throughout his day, who calls you on his way home from work and stays in touch until bedtime, then you have a guy who likes you more than friends.
Of course, if your texting and talking is about another woman, you might be firmly in the friend zone, but if your communication is about life and history and dreams, then chances are good your guy really likes you.
For me and my guy, we did start out talking about recent relationships that we still had hopes for but, over the course of the month, our feelings deepened for each other and our conversation shifted away from those people and became about our individual pasts and dreams for the future.
So, if your guy stays in touch, I’m guessing he really likes you as more than friends.
2. He always wants to be with you
My guy and I, when we were just friends, lived far apart from each other. But whenever I traveled to his neck of the woods, he made a huge effort to see me.
I should have realized that he might like me as more than friends one day in particular. It was the day he gave up skiing to have lunch with me.
Skiing was really important to him but he was willing to spend an hour with me instead of spending a whole day on the slopes.
Because I wasn’t paying attention I didn’t even occur to me. In retrospect, it’s obvious.
3. He introduces you to his friends and family
Of course, you probably have many male friends who have introduced you to their friends and family. That’s what friends do.
But if you have a guy who goes out of his way to make sure you meet those who are special to him, then he is a guy who likes you more than just friends.
A guy who is into you wants the whole world to know. He also wants to make sure that his people love you as much as he does. To do that, he shares you with them.
So, if your guy introduces you to his best buddies and takes you to Sunday dinner with his mom, you’re in.
4. He makes you a priority
You know those guys who you’ve dated in the past who blow you off for happy hour because they have to work? Or those guys who go fishing instead of spending the weekend with you?
There is a reason those guys are part of your past and not your future – they put other things above you.
A guy who was really into you, as more than friends, is a guy who will prioritize you above everything else. When a guy is into a girl, he wants nothing more than to be with her 24/7. Being with her makes him feel good in a way even the biggest trout doesn’t. And he knows it.
So, if your friend is making a Herculean effort to spend time with you, you can be confident that he likes you as more than friends.
5. He stays away from other women
A guy who likes a girl as more than friends will stay away from other women, always.
When a guy is into a girl, he is focuses on her and would never let himself be distracted by another shiny object. When you’re out of the bar, or at work, or just out in the world and your ’friend’ isn’t flirting the other girls then he is definitely into you.
Guys flirt. It’s what they do. If they aren’t doing it in your presence you can be safe in assuming he has feelings for you.
For me, I should have seen that my guy was liking me when he stopped going to the restaurant where his past crush worked. He would rather talk to me on the phone than spend any time flirting her.
I truly believe that the best relationships are based on friendships.
I know that the guy I am with now is the love of my life and that I will be with him always. Part of that is because we were friends first.
I also know that the moment I told him I was crushing on him was one of the scariest moments of my life because I knew I was risking our friendship with my confession.
So, before you declare your feelings to your friend, take inventory of his behavior towards you.
If he stays in constant contact with you, wants to be with you all the time, sacrificing work and play, if he introduces you to his friends and his family and stays away from other women then you can be confident that telling him your feelings will be worth the risk.
I know it takes a lot to do it but be brave. We don’t get what we want without speaking our truth. And isn’t love all that we really want?