There’s a saying that when you find the right person, your life should take off more than it settles down. That phrase is only so popular because there are so many people who see marriage and partnership like a finish line, the other side at which they are free to relax into life and stop trying so hard. Their objective was to be chosen, and everything they did until that moment was to make themselves the best pick.
There is a difference between people who marry ambitious women and people who don’t, and you see it in almost every part of their lives. There’s a difference in how they live, how they interact, what they argue about, what they do together.
Ambitious women are passionate about bettering themselves and their lifestyle. When you couple up with someone like that, you feel it ripple into every part of your existence.
There are so many stories and stigmas about ambitious women, and how unwise it is to marry one. This is because you’re only hearing about the outliers, the Miranda Priestley of the world. The careers obsessed, heartless women who don’t have time to pencil a date into their schedule.
But this is not what most ambitious women are like not even close. Most ambitious women want to work hard to provide for themselves and their families. They are as aspirational about their relationships as they are about their résumés. They are committed to a lifelong journey of self-growth. Their wedding is not the single most important day of their lives. They don’t need to be taken care of. They are willing to change when they need to. They’re not afraid to hold you to a higher standard than you’ve ever held yourself. Their whole life has been about becoming the strong, successful partner they were always told to marry.
These are the women who aren’t afraid to work a second job at night not only so that their kids can eat, but so that they can go on field trips and have the sneakers they want. These are the women who see their roles at home as equally important as their ones in the world. These are the women who log their hours in their offices and businesses and then care just as much about PTA meetings and preschool and making time to have sex with their partners. These are the women who do not complain that everything is “so hard” even when it really, really is.
Ambitious women are holistic about their approach to life. They have multiple interests. They read, they share information they find useful. They have hobbies and friends and a plan for what happens to their lives once they’re done being caretakers.
It’s time we stop categorizing ambitious women as corporate she-devils who are too damaged to find real love. The most ambitious women in the world are the ones who won’t have a life handed to them by someone else, but who will build it themselves, day by day, moment by moment, with whatever they have, wherever they are, and whenever they can.